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Jack & Jill & Zombies. - The Devil's Advocate
...it never pays to give all sides less than their due consideration...
Jack & Jill & Zombies.
In the "Everyone else is doing it, so I may as well have some fun too." department...

The first one of these with wide-spread exposure that I heard of was "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies", author credits to Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith, and released last year by Quirk. I first heard of it on NPR while driving, and laughed quite a while... Though, I'll admit, I've not yet purchased and read it. It seems to me the kind of thing where once you'd seen the cover and read the dust jacket and perhaps a few sample pages, you've probably already got all the good out of the joke that it's got to give.

Then, today, I see over at Merit Badger that there's a merit badge available for writing and reading this stuff, and that's the last little push I need to indulge myself... Although, it does also give me the idea for a much more complicated (but probably not any more funny, if even as...) idea for later, as well. (There's also a delicious poster of a movie that really should be made... Go have a look.)

I now hear from a friend that her husband is putting on "Twelfth Night of the Living Dead" in December at the high school where he teaches. Sight-unseen, I'm ready to predict that it's destined for Broadway. :-)

First, I figure, what this genre needs is a collection of quick bites. Lovely little stories of a familiar caste that can be enjoyed, digested and shared in a flash, right? Not to mention, they'd be really easy to write, and I've got a bit of a full schedule just now.

So. I give you my new collection, Jack & Jill & Zombies:

Jack and Jill and Zombies

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And the shambling horde of horrific undead that had claimed Jill's innocent life came tumbling after.

Up Jack got
And home did trot
As fast as he could run

Dove under his cot
and quickly he got
His chainsaw, his ax, and his shotgun.

Zombie Miss Muffet

Zombie Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,
Eating some eyeballs and brains;
Along came a hunter,
Aimed a blunderbuss at her
And blew poor Miss Muffet away.

Good Night, Sleep Light

Good night, sleep light,
Don’t let the zombies bite.
And if they do
Then take your ax
And those zombies
fifty whacks!

Zombie Jack Horner

Zombie Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Eating a Christmas pie.
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a lump,
And said, "Braaaaains!"

Old Mother Hubbard (and her Zombie Dog)

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone;
But when she came there
The cupboard was bare,
So the poor dog found a bone sticking out of the arm of a recently fallen zombie.

She took a clean dish
To get him some tripe;
But when she came back
He was fully infected, and looking at her with a disquieting parody of affection.

Jack Sprat

Jack Sprat could eat no flesh,
His wife could eat no brains,
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked whoever came.

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
There're zombies in the meadow, undead in the corn.
Where is the boy who slaughtered the sheep?
He's under a haycock, fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I,
For if I do, we're sure to die.

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3 Scary Clicks --Why not Spin the Cylinder?
squidflakes From: squidflakes Date: August 24th, 2010 08:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
"They licked whoever came."


Also, zombies are played out. We've been riding this zombie fad for going on 10 years now. The next big thing is due, and I think its time for giant octopuses.
kymellin From: kymellin Date: August 24th, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
*applause* Entertaining and certain to teach those little ones about the dangers of the world out there. But then, I just picked up a book on how to make Zombie Felties. I'm hoping they will be this year's Halloween project (also hoping I actually START the Halloween project this year).

I figure, what this genre needs is a collection of quick bites

I like "Quick Bites" or "A Collection of Quick Bites" as a secondary title to "Jack & Jill & Zombies".
drleho From: drleho Date: August 25th, 2010 09:54 pm (UTC) (Link)


So you are infected now.
3 Scary Clicks --Why not Spin the Cylinder?